The short answer is, Yes, but not for a little while and, in the short run probably not as often you did about a year ago.
First of all, after having a baby a mom’s body needs to recover. People often say wait until 6 week check-up. But really, there is nothing magic about six weeks. Whether or not new parents feel like having sex is not just about Mom’s body recovering from childbirth. Lot’s of other factors come into play. Exhaustion is a key one. But overall, it is not as easy to get into the mood for sex in the early months after a baby is born, especially for mothers.
Bottom line: If you feel ready for sex, but your partner isn’t as ready as you, you have to be patient.
That’s not easy, we know, but here are some things that you can do that might make it easier for her to get in the mood.
- Not pressuring her
- Doing housework so she has more energy
- Looking after the baby so she can have a nap
- Cooking her a meal
- Give her “no strings attached” affection. That means hugs, kisses and massages that don’t leave her thinking that you’re only doing it because you’re expecting “something” in return. So, like, don’t wait until you’re about to explode before giving her a hug.
Overall, it’s probably more important to show her that you care than to try to be a stud. When you do start having sex again, use birth control.
The Soft Side of Sex
In addition to the ideas mentioned above you also need to take care of your relationship.
Some people act as if your relationship as a couple is separate from your parenting, and that the only way to look after your relationship is to get away from the baby.
There is definitely value to getting away from the baby sometimes — going out for dinner or whatever — but on the other hand, your couple relationship and your life with the baby are not two completely separate worlds. In fact, one thing that can help partners feel closer to each other in early parenthood is to share the experience of getting to know and caring for the baby.
On the other hand, sometimes it helps to get your minds off the baby for awhile so you have a chance to start thinking about “other things.” Even just going for coffee or snuggling up on the couch to watch The Devil Wears Prada or, um Date Night (just kidding) can be nice too.
The point is, if you look after your relationship and share all parts of your life, including the experience of being new parents, you’ll feel closer to each other. And you know what they say, “Ya gotta watch closeness. It sometimes leads to sex.”